


for the hope of it all

by multiverse (infrequency)



Series: you, on my skin [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spider-Man Fusion, Angst, M/M, Multi, Polyamory Negotiations, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:35:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26189605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infrequency/pseuds/multiverse
Summary: A culmination of all things, of first kisses and first loves, their mismatched arrows finally aligning.It all connects.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Seokmin | DK/Yoon Jeonghan, Lee Seokmin | DK/Yoon Jeonghan
Series: you, on my skin [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1901848
Comments: 10
Kudos: 62





	for the hope of it all

**Author's Note:**

> **content warning** : there's some grey area guilt regarding infidelity, but one person is presumed dead.  
> mood music includes young god (live at webster hall) – halsey; washing machine heart - mitski; august - taylor swift; and buzzcut season - lorde  
> 

_i kneel into a dream where i am good & loved.  
_ _i am good. i am loved.  
_ _my hands have made some good mistakes.  
_ _they can always make better ones.  
_ –natalie wee, from ‘least of all’, our bodies & other fine machines

 _wanting was enough  
for me, it was enough  
to live for the hope of it all.  
_ _– taylor swift, august_

_🕸_

The three of them are a unit, moving in unison towards something unspoken at a snail’s pace, only kicked into motion when Jeonghan blurts out, “So wait, Seungcheol, you mean as long as we’ve all been friends, you’ve never kissed Seokmin?”

_🕸_

Seokmin has been in love with Choi Seungcheol for so long that it's a part of his DNA. He's been in love since he learned how to spell his name, since the day Seungcheol offered him half of his _anpan_ when Seokmin was seven and he was nine. The love tethers his existence to reality.

He’s thirteen when he tamps down the fear and tells Seungcheol how he feels. Seungcheol doesn’t feel the same, then, but he catches the way his face rests on him with so much adoration it weighs him down. Confusion clouds him, but to love and be loved by Seungcheol is to stand in the sun’s light. He doesn't regret it.

Seokmin is just shy of fifteen when he kisses Jeonghan, the syrupy sigh when their lips meet etching itself into his skin, forming a tattoo in a heart’s shape. His love language embroiders itself into Seokmin's mind. When Jeonghan praises him, it’s walking on air. If Seungcheol is the sun, then Jeonghan is gravity to keep him grounded. They don't last, but Seokmin stays in his orbit.

_🕸_

University pulls the three of them in different directions, along toward adult life and expectations. As they catapult into the next stage of their lives, Seungcheol and Jeonghan become roommates, then more. There's bitterness there, but Seokmin focuses his energies into rounding out his degree and stepping into his father’s shoes, playing CEO.

Work is a welcome distraction until the work _becomes_ the distraction. His father’s company gets dragged into the line of fire along with his family's reputation, and he doesn’t know whether to curse or thank Spider-Man for it. Jeonghan pries into his affairs under the guise of free press, and Seungcheol’s work for a rival lab only thrives, so their friendship becomes a web tangled with resentment and disdain.

He envies them, sometimes, how easy they have it. To have someone to come home to. To have a life without the burden of expectation.

Poor little rich boy, all alone in his penthouse. Everything in the world at his fingertips, except the one thing Seokmin truly wants.

_🕸_

_Seokmin dreams about the whisper of eyelashes on his cheeks and cherry chapstick. Lips, and hands in his hair, and–_

_🕸_

Life goes on. Spider-Man meddles. Jeonghan stops answering his calls for several months, and Seokmin begins to rebuild.

Then a kaleidoscope of moments: Getting a call from Jeonghan asking if he'd seen Seungcheol. A former research scientist at the company nearly kills Spider-Man in Lee Industries’ HQ. Blood on his hands and the clock’s dizzying tick across from his hospital bed. A closed-casket funeral. A thunderstorm. A missing person, and a gaping hole in his heart. A tear-stained second first kiss that drags his bare feet over broken glass.

Seungcheol disappears, and the light in Jeonghan’s eyes seems to go with him.

Seokmin chooses selfishness and _happiness_ , chooses Jeonghan, who chooses him.

Happiness is what he tells himself that he feels when Jeonghan sleeps in his bed, when he leaves in the morning in silence. Jeonghan’s apologies or insistence that this is the last time don’t resonate as well when it comes from his lips with his spine arched and his cock buried inside Seokmin. It doesn't feel as dirty or cheap when he gasps out a curse wrapped around his name with Seokmin's fingers curled inside him.

He’s okay with it this way; better to be held in one way than not at all.

(In _their_ way, this is love because Jeonghan is the only person who has ever told him no, but in the dark, it's only _yes_ and _fuck, right there_ and _Seokmin, I’m g-gonna ah–_

Jeonghan is prettiest like this, with knobby fingers knotted in his hair when he’s coming down Seokmin’s throat in Seokmin’s bed and is crying out for _him_. Even with the ring on Jeonghan’s left hand catching between the strands as he tugs.)

There is no guilt when Seungcheol’s name sighed out between them, an unspoken wish given space in the grief they share. A cruel irony, to have each other only for both of you to see the same person when you fall together.

Guilt does rush in to waterlog the room the next morning, but waits long after Jeonghan kisses him goodbye. It creeps in when the ghost of his past meanders in and knocks into Seokmin on the street. Familiarity and a flash of dimples. A step took too soon. Iced coffee everywhere.

He really liked this suit, too.

_🕸_

The loft apartment Seungcheol is staying in is quaint, smaller than the one he shared with Jeonghan, smaller than any place Seokmin has ever lived. Even with its bare walls, it feels like a home. Seungcheol has always filled every space with light.

Seokmin doesn't miss the framed photo of Jeonghan when he walked in.

The cloud of accountability looms over Seokmin’s head, waiting to strike him down. He feels thirteen again, alone and in love, with Seungcheol, the one to break the news gently. They just stare at each other, for a long moment, daring each other to say what's on their minds. 

Whatever Seungcheol wants to say never comes as he loudly stirs his tea in the kitchen. Seokmin visibly deflates, sagging with relief.

“How is he?” Seungcheol’s hands close around the mug, gracefully rounding the corner to plop himself in front of Seokmin on the floor. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who Seungcheol means.

“That's a horrible question.”

“I just want to know he’s okay.”

“He thinks you’re _dead_ ,” Seokmin answers tightly. There’s a lump in his throat, and for the first time in his life, Lee Seokmin doesn’t think he likes Choi Seungcheol very much.

Jeonghan is the most resilient person he knows, but watching him grieve was an aching pang that will never subside.

“ _I_ thought you w– we all did. There was a _funeral_.” His voice cracks under the weight, shoulders dropping.

Seungcheol rests a hand on his knee, squeezing gently. “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

_🕸_

Jeonghan comes to him two weeks later, looking haunted. Shaken. He won’t say what’s wrong, pushes Seokmin to his knees, and begs him to make him forget.

Seungcheol and the truth float to the front of his mind, but he doesn’t know how to quit. He doesn't think he wants to ever quit, so long as Jeonghan keeps choosing him.

_🕸_

Neither Jeonghan nor Seungcheol let him quit, not without fighting him on it. For the first time, both of them choose _him._

He ends up between them in their living room, then underneath them in their bedroom, sealed with a searing kiss. Seokmin grasps Jeonghan's collar like a lifeline, like he needs the familiarity to keep him afloat. He is safe here, between the two of them, no longer a reminder of the things he cannot have. Being half-undressed in _their_ bed is a change of scenery, but Seokmin is hungry for it. Has craved it with every cell in his body.

Being in love with your two best friends is difficult; the complications of their lives and the choices they've made have left them with the consequences. Seokmin used to want Seungcheol to hurt the way he had ached for him and Jeonghan in the past, but the desire for revenge disintegrates with each pulsing tick of his heartbeat. Jeonghan's long fingers rest against his throat, just a suggestion of pressure sending his pulse skyrocketing. Behind Jeonghan, Seungcheol bites down between the curve of his neck and shoulder, making him grind down into Seokmin.

"Hyung," Seokmin whines, and both of them look at him with thinly veiled amusement.

Jeonghan lets out an amused sound, tinkling wind chimes. " _Which_ hyung, sweetheart?"

His hands have made their way up Seokmin's shirt, thumbing the buds of his nipples until they're firm. Seokmin's hips cant at the first sharp flick, and Seungcheol goes still as he watches. A tutorial of Jeonghan teaching Seungcheol how to make him come undone.

"Stop being mean to him," Seungcheol says into Jeonghan's skin, sucking hard enough Seokmin hears it, even with Jeonghan shoving Seokmin's shirt over his head.

"He _likes_ when you're mean to him," Seokmin hears Jeonghan pout as he flings it off, a blush rising in his cheeks as he watches him lean back to kiss Seungcheol.

"Yeah, but you need to be nicer, Hannie," Seungcheol pouts back, pulling Jeonghan's lower lip between his teeth. The sight no longer inspires curling jealousy in his gut, just pride. Arousal.

They're both really his.

A culmination of all things, of first kisses and first loves, their mismatched arrows finally aligning. Getting undressed and laying bare together in a pile of limbs feels right, puzzle pieces clicking into place. And when Seungcheol eagerly meets Seokmin halfway with parted lips, the flood comes back to fill the room with sticky sweetness.

“Lay down for us, Seokminnie?”

Seungcheol looks at Seokmin the way he always has, his love face resting on him, this time with Jeonghan in their line of sight. Not one or the other, but the three of them together. Something Seokmin has known for most of his life, that Jeonghan and Seungcheol have only just discovered.

_It all connects._

Seokmin accepts apologies in the form of wet fingers stretching him open, warming breaths against the inside of his thighs, the familiar weight of Jeonghan's cock pushing to the back of his throat. Seungcheol dives in with enthusiasm, tongue circling his rim in tight circles.

"Good boy," Jeonghan says between breaths, and Seungcheol bites his thigh hard enough he jerks forward, taking Jeonghan in deeper. Hands flying to the headboard in surprise, Jeonghan lifts onto his knees, fucking into his mouth in earnest. Seokmin's jaw twinges with pain, but he opens wider, reminding himself to breathe through his nose, eyes sliding shut.

Even his most depraved fantasies don't live up to the reality of Jeonghan's knees framing his face, whimpering above him with each little tick of his hips, while Seungcheol's face is buried in his ass, tongue slipping between his fingers. Seokmin can feel Seungcheol's proud grin, pulling back to suck and bite at the inside of his thighs.

Thighs tensing under roving hands, his brain feels cloudy with lust. He can hear Jeonghan offer up praise to him in a low voice, basking in the sounds through soft whines. He feels disconnected from his body, but Jeonghan keeps him grounded.

"Everything okay?" Seungcheol's voice sounds as roughed up as Seokmin feels.

"He's _fine_ ," Jeonghan hisses out, sounding reedy and debauched. He pulls back until his spit-wet cock rests against Seokmin's now dry lips before fucking back into his mouth.

"You're so good for us, Seokminnie," Jeonghan says to Seokmin, gently brushing his hair from his forehead.

He doesn't have to look at Jeonghan to know he's smirking, lavishing in the moment as Seokmin chokes back a moan, saliva filling his mouth and spilling out. Jeonghan makes a sympathetic sound, wiping his chin and knotting his long fingers through Seokmin's hair. He steadies his other hand against the headboard, rolling his hips into Seokmin's face.

"Good boy," he says, laughing in delight at the flustered pink that crawls into his face.

"You like being _our_ good boy, don't you," Jeonghan coos, leaning back enough to close his thin fingers around Seokmin's dick. Sparks shoot up his spine at first contact, fizzing and crackling until he squirms. Breathing through his nose, Seokmin lets out a gurgled affirmation, his hands navigating obediently to Jeonghan's waist.

Heat pricks behind Seokmin's eyes, peering up at him the best he can. Jeonghan keeps a fist in his hair to hold him from the headboard but loosens up. If he's overwhelmed, Jeonghan looks no better, his pale face flushed red from exertion.

"' _m not_ –hm, d-don't wanna come yet," he mumbles, pulling out of Seokmin's mouth again to flop bonelessly next to him and envelope him in an embrace. His skin is sweat sticky, mouthing along his skin in sloppy, open movements.

If he had any thought of peace, Seungcheol shatters the illusion. Jeonghan laughs, low and soft into his neck like he already _knows_ what Seungcheol is planning, probably does. Distantly, Seokmin thinks that one day he and Jeonghan will be like this for Seungcheol, and that thought catches him off-guard as Seungcheol leans up to take him between his lips.

The sensation of tongue on the underside of Seokmin's dick draws raw, jagged breaths through his teeth. Jeonghan swallows them with searching kisses before licking into his mouth. Jeonghan's cock is tacky with saliva, rubbed against Seokmin's hip with each desperate little thrust before his fingers close around himself.

"Cheollie's gonna fuck you, and I'm gonna watch," Jeonghan sighs happily. Seokmin doesn’t respond; the gentlest scrape of teeth against his shaft ripping a groan from his lips. It's so Jeonghan to demand to set the pace, and so very Seungcheol and Seokmin of them to let him. Seokmin's hands sink themselves into Seungcheol's hair, gripping tighter when his throat constricts around him. At his side, Jeonghan sounds close, biting at his lower lip with a soft whimper.

"Want you to come on me," Seokmin begs, and Jeonghan laughs again, pressing his forehead to Seokmin's shoulder before giving him a knowing look, sitting up and crawling over to a sweaty Seungcheol. He whispers something in his ear that seems to catch him off-guard enough to sink slower.

Seungcheol's gaze is dark when his head pops back up, swirling his tongue around the swollen head of his dick. Seokmin feels molten and sensitive, an exposed live wire, just on the edge of coming undone. The heat behind his eyes comes back, pricking until they well dangerously at the corners of his eyes.

Jeonghan's fingers trace the outline of Seungcheol's biceps – when did he get _those_ , seriously? – his tongue flicking out around the shell of his ear. The two of them are so magnetic together, but he doesn't feel left out watching them like this.

He gets to kiss them both when they change positions, sighing love into Seungcheol's mouth. Seokmin's confession gets met with reciprocation at long last, with his legs locked around Seungcheol's thighs.

On another night, he'd feel embarrassed for disrupting Jeonghan's neighbors with how loud he whines out his name, but his only salient thought is how good Seungcheol's moans sound with theirs. Jeonghan gives him what he wants, coming across his chest in streaks of white. Seungcheol chants his name like it's the only word he's ever known, like an incantation to keep them together. _Seokmin, SeokminSeokmin-ah, S–_

The tears that have been threatening to spill from Seokmin's eyes fall, making his ruddy cheeks look shinier, _prettiest, my pretty baby,_ Jeonghan tells him soothingly as his fingers drag through the cum on his chest, spreading it thin.

When Seokmin comes, it's like a rip of lightning through the sky, with Seungcheol's thumbs digging into his hips and Jeonghan's mouth at his throat. Seungcheol isn't too far behind him, hot and wet, and deep inside him, arms around Seokmin in a crushing embrace. They're both gasping as they come down, reaching out for each other to trade lazy kisses.

The flavor of Seungcheol's cherry chapstick under his tongue makes the corners of his mouth tick up.

_🕸_

“No seriously,” Jeonghan downs his wine glass and claps his hands together, looking from Seungcheol to Seokmin. “You mean to tell me that of the two of us, you’ve never once hooked up with Seokmin?” Seungcheol retreats into his hoodie with a groan, reaching out to shove Jeonghan, who neatly dodges it.

“Explain. I’ve fucked both of you, and both of you are so into each other.” Seokmin’s collar suddenly feels tight around his neck, heat rushing into his face. He can feel Seungcheol’s eyes fall on him even as he does his best to avoid his gaze.

The three of them aren’t quite the unit they used to be, but moving in towards something unspoken at a snail’s pace, only finally given a name when Jeonghan blurts out, “So like, what if we had a threesome?”


End file.
